Kate Nash

The British invasion continues. Loving Kate Nash.

The Tyrant and The String

There is never a dull moment with my 2.5 year old Josh aka The Tyrant. Every week is filled with cute little words- he just learned, but doesn’t exactly say right, temper tantrums that could cure the teen pregnancy problem and life threatening accidents- that no doubt make me look like a bad mom who doesn’t watch her kid.

Josh

The fourth of five children, Josh is like the first. I have experienced things with him I never had with his three older siblings; the Heimlich maneuver, calls to poison control (2) and rushing to the ER. I am constantly on my toes, careful of anything that might hurt him; a cup of hot tea, a pot handle pointing out from the stove, cleaning products left out, an unlocked door- he’s famous for going outside if he can find a way. If  he survives toddlerhood I will be relieved and amazed and forever grateful.

The Tyrant

This week Josh’s alter ego The Tyrant came out to play more often than he did and for the most part I thought I was going to lose my mind. Nothing new really- just the Tyrants usual; he refused to eat his breakfast- eggs his favorite- to the point he threw them down on the floor and tossed a couple at me, he shoved 3 games into the Wii- breaking all 3 games, he kicked one older brother and bit the other one, he pulled his sisters hair and pitched mammoth sized fits every time I left him to go anywhere…. oh and  he took off his stinky diaper (I didn’t know he was stinky at that point) and threw it at me- guess that’s one way to make me realize you need a new diaper.

One thing I didn’t expect and nearly gave me a heart attack- It was 2 pm and I was getting ready to pick the kids up from school. While I was applying my much needed makeup I heard Josh crying in his bedroom, but it didn’t sound right- not a usual or familiar cry. I rushed in there to find him hung up in the string of the mini- blinds. Now I’ve been through a lot with this kid and have come to expect anything… but never in a million years did I expect this. He had (luckily) gotten one arm in the string, so the part around his neck was unable to strangle him. I got him out of it- panicked and half crazed- and sat down on his bed with him and cried for a good 20 minutes.

Today Josh has a little rope-like burn around the back of his neck that goes under his right arm, evidence of my poor parenting that I’ll be staring at for at least the next week or so. Poor parenting, because I’ve heard of kids being strangled by those damn strings… but never thought that would happen to MY kid.

I just don’t know what to do with him. Every time I think I have everything baby proofed I’m quickly reminded that baby proof doesn’t cut it with him- hell I’ve got to Josh/Tyrant proof the house!

So please- if you have mini blinds… tie up the string or cut the damn thing off. It can happen.

My overactive imagination makes for good dreams

My husband tells me that I have the craziest dreams of anyone he has ever known- well of the people whom have told him of their dreams, I’m guessing old girlfriends… all 2 of them. Hubs says he doesn’t dream, or at least he can’t remember them if he does. I think that is so sad, I have the best dreams… as insane as they may be.

Celebrities make appearances in my dreams several times a week, some of the dreams are as odd as James Franco on General Hospital while others seem normal… like any other dream.

If dreams really are a reflection of the subconscious I shudder to think what my dreams say about me-

I have had some of the oddest conversations with Justin Timberlake… Yes, JT frequently stars in my dreams, he even shows up in dreams that aren’t about him… sometimes he’s just in the background, I think he’s stalking me, but it’s ok- I like it. I’m not sure why he appears so often, I hardly ever listen to his music, but just in general  he seems like a cool guy. In my dreams we’re always just chillin, there’s never anything romantic about the dreams, we just chat like normal peeps hanging out grabbing a drink or something totally normal.  The normalcy is what makes those dreams so strange…. we talk like we’ve known each other forever and I’m not the least bit freaked out that I’m talking to Justin Timberlake.

One of the oddest celeb dreams I’ve had starred Woody Harrelson, odd because well… it was Woody Harrelson. This dream I’ve only had once, but have never forgotten it. I was at a party- I have no idea where- and hooked up… YES! Hooked up with Woody Harrelson. Afterward I went to get a drink from the bar- in this random house- Justin Timberlake was there and said to me… “Woody Harrelson… Really?”

I  know Port Charles by heart, but when being chased by an unknown mobster through the dark set streets it can get a little confusing. Lucky for me Jason Morgan and Sonny Corinthos are never far behind, they always save me and I always try to get a little action out of Jason- but true to character, he denies me. Don’t be sad for me though…. Sonny is always easily swayed.

Rob Pattinson or Edward Cullen? Well in my dreams the distinction is  clearly defined… I prefer Edward. I have had many… many dreams starring Rob Pattinson, but he’s never the goofy- BUT gorgeous (simmer down) UK stud muffin. No, he’s always Edward Cullen…. lip stain and all. Which is strange because when I read the books I totally don’t see Rob as Edward.

The dreams are never what I would wish them to be, he’s always just talking (and not with Robs British accent…which would be nice) he just recites the story as if he’s reading the books aloud… over and over. I think I have them memorized and my brain is trying to flush them out while I sleep.  Where’s the action? If he were Rob I’m sure there would be some, but he’s not and is another one that stay’s true to character… I guess I have to marry him first. Stupid, bizarrely moral Vampire!

Tiger Woods made an appearance 2 nights ago. In my dream he was married to my best friend Robbi. We were at her/their house and I kept saying over and over, “I can’t believe your married to Tiger Woods!” She would say things like “I know right” and “it’s really not so bad, if you avoid the headlines.” Tiger walked through the living room where we were sitting, but didn’t speak or even look up. I was confused by that, I mean come on… your married to my best friend, you could say hi. But she assured me that that’s just how he is. After I awoke from this dream I sent her a text about it, she simply replied “Yeah, I hear Tiger Woods dreams he’s married to me too.” I love her!

My dream from last night and the reason for this post was about (drum roll please) Ian Somerhalder! But unlike Rob he didn’t grace my dream as his character- Damon Salvatore- although that would be interesting- No, he was himself… hats and all. It was the first time- that I can remember- that I was star struck in a dream!  I couldn’t think straight, mouth gaping like a complete moron. He smiled that unbelievable smile at me  and the only thing I could think to say was… “I love your hats, all of them… you have the best taste in hats. I’m a hat person too, love em’! I think some people are just hat people and some aren’t…. we clearly are. Hat people that is.” blah blah blah! I could have died! There I am, meeting Ian Somerhalder… prattling on like a damn fool about my love of hats; his, mine, that girl over there, that dude I went to school with 10 years ago. And that was it…. my whole dream about Ian Somerhalder- which was really more about his hats than him. BOO!

Exorcise the Demons

Watching Jackson nurse, he stares at me the same way I stare at him. He’s so beautiful, I study the perfection of his face…. talk sweetly to him, he takes a moment to smile up at me- his mouth not daring to leave his source of sustenance. His tiny hand squeezing my finger. These are the times I’m truly happy.

The door burst open, it slams into the wall  scaring the shit out of me, I jump… Jackson starts screaming. In they come…. one, two, three, four. Their eyes looking wild and unpredictable, their hands pushing, pulling and thrashing about, their faces contorted into crazed expressions, frightening sounds coming  from their mouths.

I want to run, to flee the house and seek help, but they have me surrounded. My husband won’t be home for hours… and they know it. I gently lay the baby down and prepare myself for what is to come……

“NO! You did it! You stupid brat!” Sarah screams at Braeden.

“No… no… MOMMY! Sarah did it, she took it from me!” Braeden screams to me and then burst into a wailing cry.

“No- Mom this is what happened… they’re both stupid and I was trying to tell them to stop.” Lowgan says with a calm tone that suggest he  believes he is both superior and making a valid point.

Josh fly’s across the room, tackles Braeden and is attempting to beat the shit out of him. I pull him off, “Josh we don’t hit!” I say to my 2 year old who makes the chick from the Exorcist seem rational and controlled.

I turn back to the other three, my teeth on edge, “OK- who did what? No!… NOT you or you.. Lowgan what happened?”

Lowgan rolls his eyes and begins pointing his finger at the culprits, “She was playing the Wii, Braeden wanted to play a different game so he turned it off….” Lowgan  was attempting to explain, but Sarah cuts him off, “WHILE I WAS PLAYING!” She screamed out.

Now I know these bad ass children did not just come up in my room screaming and fighting over some game.

“OK, that’s it.. all of you OFF the Wii!” I say with all of my God given authority.

Howling cry’s erupt from Braeden, Josh- being a copycat- follows suit and begins to wail.

Sarah and Lowgan both mumble unintelligibly.

As the four of them leave my room, I settle back down and begin to nurse my beautiful, perfect, lovely baby again….. reminded that these are treasured times.

BECAUSE ALL TOO SOON MY SWEET LITTLE BABY WILL BE ONE OF THEM!

How I came to be trapped in a public bathroom

For me writing is therapeutic and since I’m too poor to get the professional help I need I started this blog last August during a bout of depression, I found rather quickly that the more I wrote the better I felt.  Raising 5 kids and a husband (hey as long as I’m washing his underwear, feeding him & telling him what to do less he screw up… I’m raising him) is a hard job, with lots to do… but I didn’t feel like I was doing anything for me, anything I really wanted to do for myself, so in some sick way blogging gave me a sense of purpose and a way to vent out my thoughts and  feelings (many-many feelings according to Hubs).

I’ve always loved writing, in high school I wrote merely to irritate my English teacher Mr. Gillette- whom I’m pretty sure is retired and will not be at risk of losing his job if someone reads this and realizes his students end up with the competency of an 8th grader…. if he’s NOT retired- Sorry old chap! Back then I would give my writing off the wall titles that had little to nothing to do with the subject matter; a paper on The Most Dangerous Game would be title How I came to be trapped in a public bathroom… it drove Mr. Gillette insane but since the paper was written in the school parking lot the morning it was due, it wasn’t very good and he would give me a ‘D’ which made him very happy. Revenge is sweet!

High School- Greek4cheerful in the ARMY shirt! So tacky!

I wish I had paid more attention in school, if I had perhaps I wouldn’t be uber retarded fumbling to figure out where commas should go and using spell check every 2 seconds. So I guess in the end Mr. Gillette won. But I still love to write, I’m not as ballsy with my titles, but the content… still as pointless!  I wish I could say that this blog was helpful to others, that it  helps mother’s to be better mother’s, help’s the depressed to smile, helps the weak to be strong,  helps Martha Stewart to pull the stick out of her ass…. but I’m pretty sure it only helps me.

OBSESSED

I can be quite obsessive about the things I love and tend to go completely overboard with them.  Balance eludes me.

When I decided I was totally in love with Elvis I spent all of my time for months reading about him, listening to his music, watching his movies or movies about him, I bought Tshirts, tacky figurines and my car still bears proof of my obsession with a decal in the back glass of Elvis’ silhouette. I was like a school girl in love, my entire life was absorbing as much Elvis as I could, which I then passed on to my kids… to this day they can tell you almost anything about Elvis. On his birthday my daughter Sarah went to school telling everyone about him, “he died in his bathroom,” she told her teacher… Mrs. Webster luckily shared my obsession and found this amusing rather than disturbing.

After Elvis came an obsession with Philippa Gregory books, The Other Boleyn Girl started a 6 month reading binge where all I read were books by her (in my defense, she’s a really good writer.) The obsession with her books turned into an obsession over all things Tudor Dynasty.  I read countless books about them, and watched anything about them including the much anticipated adaptation of her book The Other Boleyn Girl- (dreadful movie I sold it on Ebay for $10, the book was much..much better) I even rented the first season of The Tudors (it too was horrible, Jonathan Rhys Meyers was the worst pick to play King Henry VIII ever… come to think of it he did a really bad Elvis in a movie too… I don’t think I like him)

When my Tudor obsession ended I turned all of my attention to my family… ENTIRELY. I obsessed over breastfeeding, cloth diapers, having more children, cooking, baking, cleaning and looking like the perfect “housewife” to the point I made myself miserable. All I watched on TV was TLC and Lifetime… lots of Jon and Kate, 17 kids and Counting and birthing shows. I was so wrapped up in making sure my children and husband were happy that I complete forgot to make myself happy… I became depressed of course.

Enter Twilight- Miserable and looking for something I decided to do what I swore I never would, I rented Twilight and while I thought the movie wasn’t very good (with the exception of  looking at Rob Pattinson)  I really liked the story and thought it would be a good book. And it was… really-really good. I read all 4 very long books in a week, I read so much so fast that I was literally hearing the words in my sleep, with in 2 weeks I had bought the movie and it’s soundtrack, by week 3 I was re-reading the series.

The Twilight obsession is still going on but has turned into all things Vamp; Twilight Saga, The Vampire Diaries (team Damon baby), Christine Feehan the Dark series (really good),  The House of Night series (which I think are horrible books but I can’t stop reading them)- books, music, movies… anything vamp. There is no end in sight, I’m completely obsessed.

While I do enjoy my obsessions I’m at a time in my life where balance is key. 5 kids, 3 in school and 2 at home, a husband and house to keep is a big job, tack on writing posts for my blog (which I’m dedicated to despite my poor numbers) and trying to get my book written before August 7th I’m finding myself spread thin. Staying up until all hours trying to write chapters or posts and dragging myself out of bed in the morning exhausted.

Somethings got to go. I’ve decided to take time off from reading for now, it’s really hard to focus on writing a story when your in the midst of reading another one.

I know my life would be easier if I didn’t become so wrapped up in the things I love, if I could only half-ass love Edward Cullen or Damon Salvatore I could probably get a lot more done. But I’m obsessive by nature, it’s just the way I am.

Getting it down on paper

This past December I started writing a book, it’s something I’ve always talked about doing and decided my 30th birthday would be a nice deadline to give myself… some incentive.  So when I turn 30 instead of saying “I’m 30 and haven’t done anything I had planned to… except for get knocked up a couple hundred times” I will be able to say “I’ve gotten knocked up a couple hundred times…but managed to write a book in between trips to labor and delivery.” Whether or not the book is picked up and published is playing no factor…  but of course that’s every authors hope, and I use the word author loosely, it’s not a word I’m comfortable with.  This book is more about me accomplishing something than it is about the book being successful.

Though having the book published is not important the prospect of others reading it is hard. Putting yourself out there to be judged and possibly ridiculed is scary. Sometimes I even get nervous about this blog and its usually just useless drivel meant to be funny or a way for me to vent out my frustrations. This book is different, it’s my creation, it’s like my baby- though Jackson is perfect and this book is far from it… but both come from me.

I’ve always been a good story-teller… but getting a story down on paper is wholly different thing. I wonder if I’m doing it wrong, if there is a right and wrong way to write a book. I started at what I thought was the beginning but have found myself working backward, creating a new beginning and making the original start the middle… if that makes any sense. But the story keeps building, adding more and more everyday so I try to stay confident that no matter how the story is created it will eventually come together.

Things are moving slowly, but they are moving. Some days I wake up and think… what are you thinking? you can’t do this! But other days I wake up excited that I have something going on in my life that I’ve always dreamed of doing. And I can’t give up, at this point I feel obligated, I have to finish it and see it through to the end, hell even I’m curious to see what my mind will come up with.

White Lies

My new favorite band is White Lies… between them, Muse, Rob Pattinson and my never dying love for The Beatles I’m considering moving.

This house is a dump

It’s amazing how much crap you accumulate over 8 years and since my husband lives by the motto waste not want not… he throws nothing away resulting in a closet full of computer parts- 3 monitors, 4 towers, disk drives, hard drives and countless wires tangled together that I fear might come to life and accidentally strangle my poor husband in his sleep one night.

Today I decided to make an inventory of our shit, in hopes of getting rid of some of it. I knew to expect there would be 2 or more of almost everything- but still… I was impressed.

The most impressive of the shit filled rooms-

Master Closet; 10 unused paintings- that don’t even go with the decor of the house, why I bought them…I don’t know. A baby changing table- 5 kids I’ve never wiped an ass on that thing, not one. 3 computer monitors, 4 computer towers, 1 million 37 thousand computer wires- just in case something breaks (good-looking out Hubs, I would hate for the computer monitor to self destruct and not have a back up one or two or three.) A big ass cooler- ok first off we never go anywhere to use a cooler, secondly who keeps a cooler in their bedroom closet? A serial killer perhaps, with a chopped up body cooling on ice maybe.  Then there’s the random junk- miscellaneous Holiday decorations, clothes we haven’t used in years and a closet rack that fell down- under the weight of this shit- 2 years ago…. clearly Mr. Greek4cheerful isn’t going to hang it.

The Utility Room; Woah! Scary! 5 skate boards, a mini vacuum that quit working a year ago after having just bought it the month before, a broken closet door- super place to store that, 4 fishing poles- one of my husbands many picked up and quickly dropped hobbies,  4 garbage bags full of stuffed animals- we’re not allowed to get rid of them according to Princess Sarah but she’ll be damned if they’re going in her room…NICE, my dryer vent the hubs has never installed- no wonder this room is covered in a fine layer of lent, I thought it was dust. A broken radio- hmm guess the master of the castle is keeping that for parts as well- its like we live in a damn junk yard… Anyone need an empty oil can? It could be used for bottling water or you could fill it with sand and use it as a weapon? …. NO takers?

The rest of the house is in a constant state of disarray, my husband says to relax- “this is how it is with children“… but I think that’s just something lazy people say. Granted our children add to the shit, what with their every school paper that should be cherished like the works of Albert Einstein and the little teeny tiny toy parts- I mean come on- why does Barbie need  a blow dryer? Is she taking showers after a long day at work or after being puked on by Kelly?  But the real problem in my house- I fully admit- is me and Hubs, we’re just not organized people. I use to believe you can learn to be neat and orderly but I’m starting to think that try as you might- your either an organized person or your not.

Review of The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and A Tiffany Sessions reminder

The Lovely Bones is the story of  Suzie Salmon a 14-year-old girl who was brutally ripped from the world by a mad man. Unable to let go she sits in heaven and watches; family, friends and her murderer. Those closest to her are forever changed and in some ways permanently damaged by her loss, they find moving on impossible- made worse by the murderer remaining free and Suzie having not been found- and it tears them apart. But in the end love triumphs.

I don’t want to give away too much, so I’ll stop there.

An amazing story, I can’t say enough good things about this book. I laughed, I cried, I felt anger and joy.  This book hits all the emotions and brings up so many things forgotten.

All the ones who have vanished. How does someone just disappear?…..They don’t.

This is a local story. I was only 9 years old, but I remember hearing about it and seeing it on the news. I can’t imagine not knowing where my child is or what happened to them. This family needs peace.

http://tiffanysessions.com/

CNN.com/Crime Reports: College student went for a run, never came back

By Rupa Mikkilineni
Nancy Grace Producer

NEW YORK (CNN) — Tiffany Sessions was a 20-year-old junior studying economics at the University of Florida in Gainesville when she decided to go out for a run. She never came back.

College student Tiffany Sessions has been missing since February 9, 1989.

Sessions left her off-campus apartment about 6 p.m. February 9, 1989. She told her roommate she’d be back shortly and took her Walkman with her.

It was the last time anyone would see her.

That was 20 years ago, a time when no one had cell phones, Blackberries or Web sites to aid in tracking a missing or abducted person.

The only clues came from people who recalled seeing a young woman fitting Sessions’ description walking down the main street just before dusk.

Sessions’ jogging route usually took her down Gainesville’s main street to a small dirt trail that cut through the woods. The loop was 1½ miles each way and took her about an hour.

Police and family believe that she was abducted near the woods. After extensive searches, no clues were found: not her remains, not her Walkman, not the clothes she was wearing.

“Much of the area in the last decade has been paved over, with new construction, making a search today very difficult,” said Detective Bob Dean of the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office. However, investigators are still searching and working this case actively.

Searchers were out as recently as late December, seeking clues with newer technologies.

“We have used ground sonar equipment, even,” Dean said.

Over the years, there have been some possible suspects — people who came forward and confessed — but police have ruled them out as credible suspects.

One potential suspect was a man who was in jail for killing a 5-year-old girl. He’d written a letter to police, claiming he was responsible for Tiffany Sessions’ disappearance.

But when questioned later by police, he denied writing the letter, even though handwriting analysis indicated that he had.

“Although police don’t think so, I still believe this guy could have something to do with my daughter’s disappearance,” said Patrick Sessions, Tiffany’s father.

According to Patrick Sessions, who has been closely involved with the police investigating his daughter’s case, the man who confessed was a sex offender who had been released just a month and a half before Tiffany Sessions disappeared.

The cold case unit of the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office has taken over this case. Patrick Sessions observed the 20th anniversary of his daughter’s disappearance by making renewed appeals through the media.

Police and family urge anyone with more information about Tiffany Sessions or information leading to the arrest of the person or persons responsible for her disappearance to call the tip line at 352-367-4161.

A $25,000 reward is offered.

Tiffany Sessions was last seen wearing red sweatpants, a white sweatshirt with the word “Aspen” on it, a gold Rolex watch and a black Sony Walkman. She was 5′3″ and weighed 125 pounds at the time of her disappearance. She has blonde hair and brown eyes.